


neptune (hold me close)

by PotatoTrash0



Series: luna (lay me bare) [1]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Hinata Hajime, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hinata Hajime Tries, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru are Separate People, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito-centric, Human Nanami Chiaki, Hurt/Comfort, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito's Luck Cycle, M/M, Minor Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Polyamorous Character, Possibly Unrequited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, but they’re both the ultimate hope. it’s weird man, i mean its implied, like she actually exists, meaning heavy self deprecation, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotatoTrash0/pseuds/PotatoTrash0
Summary: “As his luck would have it, he looks up just in time to see Hinata and Nanami lean into each other and share a kiss as the rest of the attendees cheer.He can almost feel the amount of hope radiating from the scene, and it makes Nagito want to vomit when he realizes the only thing filling his veins is despair.”—Nagito is invited to Hajime and Chiaki’s wedding, but he can’t quite seem to enjoy it past his own pining.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki
Series: luna (lay me bare) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867924
Comments: 12
Kudos: 109





	neptune (hold me close)

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to write a few hundred words but I blacked out and this happened
> 
> Hajime and Izuru are separate people but they share the title of Ultimate Hope and their Ultimates, it’s weird. Chiaki was still a supervisor in the sim but she was also a real human that got brought back with the rest of the cast

It isn’t so bad at first.

It’s easy to focus on the decorations and chatter of the rest of the guests. To distract himself with Souda’s endless rambling and Kamukura’s interjections, not quite as scathing as usual.

The floral arrangements are beautiful, he notes with a small smile, not overwhelmingly colorful but still striking. Everything is subtle, perfectly suited to Hinata and Nanami’s more subdued personalities.

It’s when they begin the ceremony that Nagito starts feeling his stomach twist, trying and most likely failing to keep his feelings in his chest.

His fingers twitch slightly as they rest on this thighs, his eyes trained forward. He knows Kamukura’s gaze is fixated on him, no doubt picking up on the unease in his too-straight posture. He doesn’t say anything though, and for that, Nagito is immensely grateful.

He feels a feeling of contempt for himself rise in his throat as the pianist begins playing. How disgusting, he thinks. He has the honor and privilege of attending one of the most important events of Hinata’s life, and all he can feel is resentment? Truly, absolutely revolting of him.

He still can’t manage a single drop of joy as he turns his head to watch Nanami walk down the aisle. She looks gorgeous, the pink and white dress complimenting her so well. A glance at Hinata shows that he’s stunned, and even from where Nagito is sitting, he can clearly see Hinata’s bright red flush.

Standing next to each other, Nagito can’t deny that they look perfect together. Like a match made in heaven. It’s a real shame all he can think of is being in Nanami’s place, he muses darkly.

He barely registers the pair’s vows, his mind going wild with so many things at once.

He imagines being able to get a first-row seat to Hinata’s blushing and stuttering, being the one to slip a ring onto the brunette. Being able to pull him close, have a reason to look into his eyes, and kiss him.

The thought almost makes him laugh. As if he, as the lowly, unfathomably pathetic piece of garbage that he is, would ever be worthy enough to even breathe the same air as Hinata, let alone marry him.

As his luck would have it, he looks up just in time to see Hinata and Nanami lean into each other and share a kiss as the rest of the attendees cheer. He can almost feel the amount of hope radiating from the scene, and it makes Nagito want to vomit when he realizes the only thing filling his veins is despair.

Once again, he feels Kamukura’s eyes on him, and when he glances over, Kamukura has an expression like he’s picking Nagito apart.

“You’re unhappy,” he points out, acting it’s like a fact, his red eyes burning holes into Nagito as he speaks.

Nagito laughs mirthlessly, every fiber of his being knowing how true that statement is and wanting desperately to just leave already. “Was I that obvious?”

Kamukura doesn’t respond, but Nagito can see just the smallest flicker of concern in his unblinking eyes.

Nagito shakes his head, letting his head hang as his hair falls into his eyes. “I’ll be fine. Please, don’t worry about me. This is a special day for Hinata-kun and Nanami-san, I would hate to ruin it with my selfish wishes.”

Kamukura seems to want to press further, if the firm press of his lips is anything to go by, but his eyes soften as he looks at Nagito’s face. He must look especially pitiful.

Souda is the first to jump up and run to Hinata and Nanami, everyone else quick to follow. Kamukura lags behind, glancing back at Nagito with a frown before turning away again.

Nagito can feel his body begin to shake, his vision blurring at the edges, and he jumps up with perhaps too much energy. He bumps into someone as he almost runs away, he thinks it’s Kuzuryuu from the small stature and glimpse of short, blond hair, and mutters an apology without looking back. He knows it’s suspicious, but he reasons that it’s surely not the most concerning thing he’s done.

Blindly, he stumbles to the bathroom, slamming the door too loudly behind him. The room is quiet, and the only sound in his ears is his own breathing and heartbeat.

He manages to make it three seconds before his eyes overflow and his legs decide it’s a great time to give out.

He slides down the door, shaking violently. He suddenly can’t breathe, his gasps for air too loud when he’s so close to the door, and every single one of his brain cells screams at him to shut up before someone hears him.

But even as he slaps both hands over his mouth in a weak attempt to keep quiet, his sobs escape out into the tiled room like his hands are made of air.

“Pathetic,” he laughs, his hands coming up and pulling at his hair as his head bangs against the door. “Pathetic, absolutely _pathetic_.” His voice cracks as he repeats it to himself.

What would Hinata think of him, knowing he’s not even grateful to have been invited to the Ultimate Hope’s wedding? It must have taken so much effort to spend time with a worthless waste of space such as himself, but Hinata still did it.

And for what, so Nagito could dare cry and despair because Hinata didn’t force himself to deal with Nagito even more than he already did?

Disgusting. He truly was an ungrateful, undeserving piece of shit.

He’s startled by a knock on the door.

A familiar voice follows the sound. “Hey, Komaeda, you in there?”

Nagito’s breath hitches in his throat.

Hinata.

He can’t decide if this is good or bad luck.

Maybe if he doesn’t answer, Hinata will go away? It’s a desperate grab, but surely he wouldn’t stand there forever.

Yes, he thinks, shoving down the sob that wants to come out and biting his tongue. Hinata is kind, too kind, but he doesn’t have an infinite supply of patience. He’s bound to leave at some point.

Another knock. “Komaeda, I thought I heard you crying in here. You okay?”

He wipes at the tears on his cheeks, screwing his eyes shut in an attempt to stop them from flowing further. He feels horrible for ignoring Hinata, but it would only disturb him to see Nagito in such a deplorable state. He doesn’t deserve that, not on his wedding day.

Hinata’s knock is more forceful now. “Come on, you’re worrying me.”

Nagito’s eyes widen, and he almost loses his grasp on his filter. Half of him wants to persist with his silence, but the other half itches to protest Hinata’s misplaced concern.

He can hear Hinata’s sigh from through the door. He doesn’t knock this time, but he does continue attempting to coax Nagito out of hiding. “Komaeda, what’s wrong?”

Nagito smiles bitterly. Hinata says he’s mean, an ‘asshole’ in his words, but then he turns around and pulls stunts like this. He always insists Nagito doesn’t give himself enough credit but never says anything about underselling his own benevolence.

“I’m serious here, Komaeda. Kamukura told me you were upset about something, and Kuzuryuu said you ran off in a hurry. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: if something’s bothering you, you can tell me.”

Ah. So Kamukura sold him out.

Nagito sighs and untangles his hands from his hair, not missing how several strands come away on his palms. He interrupts when Hinata speaks next.

“Komaeda—“

“If I may ask, Hinata-kun, what did Kamukura-kun say?”

Hinata is silent for a moment before he responds. His tone suggests he’s surprised, most likely because he didn’t expect a reply from Nagito. “Uh...not much. He said he couldn’t tell me much more besides the fact that you were upset about something.”

Nagito nods, his face blank. He pulls his legs to his chest, resting his arms on his knees. He glances at the door when Hinata speaks again.

“Are you okay? Can you at least open the door?”

Nagito barely considers the request before shooting it down, shaking his head even though he knows Hinata can’t see him.

“You would only be disgusted. I look even more unsightly than usual,” he says with a quiet laugh. He hasn’t looked in the mirror, but he already knows it’s true.

Hinata replies instantly, almost forcefully. “That’s bullshit.”

Nagito blinks and stares at the door like he might be able to see Hinata past the wood.

He can hear a loud, sharp sound, suspiciously similar to a wince. “I-I mean, you don’t—! It...it can’t be _that_ bad, right? I don’t think you’re actually as...um.”

Hinata doesn’t continue that sentence, and a small part of Nagito really wants him to, but he forces himself to shake off the thought and stand up to open the door.

Hinata’s facial expression seems to lighten up for a split second when he sees Nagito, before he sharply sucks in a breath and doesn’t exhale.

Of course. Nagito smiles, not quite looking Hinata in the eyes as he speaks. “Ah. I suppose I was right to assume I looked like repulsive.”

Hinata seems to panic, for some reason unknown to Nagito. “What? N-No, no, you’re fine, I’m just. Uh. Surprised?” Nagito almost laughs at the instant grimace that lines Hinata’s face afterwards.

Nagito leans against the doorframe as he watches Hinata take a deep breath before speaking again.

“Um...you _were_ crying, weren't you?” Hinata seems hesitant, like he’s afraid of offending Nagito or something.

Nagito’s eyebrows furrow as he responds, looking down at Hinata properly. “You don’t have to worry about me, Hinata-kun. It was selfish to make you leave your own wedding reception to check on me of all people.”

“What? Komaeda, no, I _wanted_ to see if you were okay. You didn’t answer my question, by the way,” Hinata says, a familiar expression on his face that Nagito knows means Hinata is irritated.

Nagito stays silent for a moment before answering quietly. “Yes. It’s nothing too important.”

Hinata pinches the bridge of his nose and grumbles, “If you’re running off in tears right after the ceremony, I think it’s pretty damn important.”

He stares at Nagito for a moment before an exasperated, knowing look crosses his face, and his arms cross against his chest. “You’re not gonna talk about it, huh?”

Nagito attempts to resist the urge to smile. “I’m rather easy to read today, aren’t I?”

Hinata sighs heavily. “Fine. But we’re discussing this at some point, alright?”

Nagito hesitates, but he knows from experience that Hinata will probably insist on it whether he likes it or not. He nods without a word.

Hinata seems to be satisfied with that, his expression relaxing as he turns on his heel to, presumably, make his way back to the reception. “Come on. Souda and the other guys will be glad to see you’re alright.”

Nagito follows along a few steps behind, biting the inside of his lip. _‘The guys? Does that mean...Hinata wasn’t the only one concerned?’_

“Komaeda, I can practically hear you chewing yourself out.” Hinata doesn’t sound impressed.

He stops walking and turns to Nagito, putting his hands on his shoulders. He speaks gently this time.

“You might think you’re a burden, but people do genuinely care about you, Nagito.” Hinata makes it a point to look him in the eyes as he says this. “I think even Kuzuryuu would agree when I say that you’re too hard on yourself.”

With what might be the warmest smile Nagito’s ever seen, Hinata continues softly, ”You’re not as horrible as you think you are, Komaeda.”

Nagito can’t bring himself to look away from Hinata, as much as he wants to. When he croaks out his next sentence, he finds himself dangerously close to tears again.

“Hinata-kun...you’re too kind. I don’t deserve this much compassion.” His voice cracks on that last word, his eyes slipping shut as he begins to shake again.

Hinata’s hands loosen their grip the slightest bit, and Nagito takes the chance to stagger back, wrapping his arms around himself in a feeble attempt to try and make himself smaller.

“I-I’m,” Nagito gasps, trying to talk past the new round of sobs threatening to come tumbling out, “I’m sorry, Hinata-kun. You shouldn’t—!”

Hinata is quick to step forward, tugging Nagito into his arms like he isn’t crying hysterically. “Hey, hey, it’s fine. I don’t mind,” he says softly into Nagito’s ear, arms wrapped around his waist.

Nagito tenses up, trembling as he hiccups. Hinata manages to pull him closer still, and that’s really all it takes for Nagito to start bawling even harder.

His arms wind themselves around Hinata’s neck, and he feels awful for ruining Hinata’s suit, but when he tries to apologize, all he gets is a gentle shush.

Hinata’s hand rubs circles on Nagito’s back, and he really can’t understand why Hinata refuses to accept that he’s simply too kind when he does things like this on days where it’s supposed to be about him.

At some point or another, Nagito had sunk to the floor, he realizes when his eyes begin to dry. He looks to Hinata with a slight panic, but Hinata doesn’t seem to care. Rather, he smiles, and Nagito feels so close to crying again, but he stops himself as Hinata speaks.

“You alright?” Hinata says, not quite a whisper, but not as loud as he would normally speak.

Nagito wants to answer, but he doesn’t trust his voice, so he settles for a mute nod.

“You’re okay to head back to the reception?” Hinata asks, in that same soft tone that he keeps using, and that makes Nagito ache with how head over heels in love he is.

Nagito nods again mindlessly, not wanting to keep Hinata any longer than he already has, but in hindsight, he probably should have known Hinata would realize something was wrong.

Hinata presses his lips together, before releasing his hold on Nagito’s waist. Nagito mourns the loss before his breath catches in his throat for the thousandth time that day as Hinata’s hands come up to cup his cheeks.

Hinata raises an eyebrow at him, the small smirk on his face mildly distracting. “You really think I’m not gonna notice you trying to lie again? After I just caught you crying twice in a row?”

Nagito blinks, brain buffering for a moment before he chuckles. “That’s...I suppose I’m not a very good liar in the first place.”

Hinata’s smile widens a fraction, before dropping. “But really. I won’t stop you from leaving if you really want to.”

Nagito opens his mouth to reply, but something makes him pause. He should be honest with this, he decides, but he doesn’t really know if he could handle seeing Nanami without feeling horribly guilty.

“No one will be mad or upset with you if that’s what you’re worried about. Chiaki was probably the most concerned besides me and Kamukura, she almost came with me to check on you,” Hinata says, a knowing tone to his voice.

Nagito sniffles and his human arm drifts up, his fingers lightly brushing Hinata’s hand. Even when he whispers, his voice is shaky, “Nanami-san...Kamukura-kun...Hinata-kun. Everyone is so kind. I don’t...I’m really not worth this much concern.”

Hinata sighs, but a smile that borders on fond plays on his lips, if he dared label it so. “Komaeda, how many times am I going to have to tell you? I— _we_ care about you more than you think.”

Nagito swallows, his mouth suddenly dry. “Yes,” he blurts out. “I-I can handle being at the reception, I think.”

Hinata’s grin is so bright, so sudden, and so _pretty_ , Komaeda really thinks he might finally keel over, to be having such amazing luck. ”Perfect.”

\---

Izuru kicked Hinata’s leg, staring at him. Hinata flinched, muttering a quiet ‘ow,’ and glared at him.

“What was that for?”

“Please tell me you’re not going to keep tip-toeing around each other like this.”

“W-What the hell—“

“Hinata.”

“...I mean, I’ll tell him at some point! Like, I don’t know, when I know I’m not gonna be shot down...”

Izuru sighed and let his head bang gently on the table. He and Nanami might actually have to intervene to get these idiots together in this _lifetime_.

**Author's Note:**

> Not pictured: Chiaki and Izuru in a corner plotting to get these losers on a date because they’re tired of watching them be absolute dunces


End file.
